How to manage anger? Anger management blog article. Read now.. - Motivation2Miracle

 ANGER MANAGEMENT

Humans are created to exist according to nature. So, as equal people, we can reject any feeling we feel as soon as it arises. But there are some things that can be done instead. Let's see what they are;

Number 1; We need to recognize that feeling: If it is anger, at this moment I feel anger because of some incident. Number 2; You should try to avoid naming yourself according to that feeling: Instead of thinking that I am angry, I need to put some distance between you and the feeling that I am angry at this time because of this incident. It means that I got angry because of this reason, but I need to control my anger at this time. Number 3; We cannot separate that anger is a bad feeling: It's not a bad feeling. It's a sense of equality. Because if you deal with a little anger properly, it is important to understand that, for example, if you are being treated unfairly, if someone is trying to hurt you, and many other things.

Anger is just one of the emotions we feel. So what's wrong here? what's wrong A mistake will only happen if you become that feeling. It's not the feeling of anger and impulse, it's the guilt, it's the act of anger based on the impulse that gives us bad results. We can't be angry with ourselves for feeling a little too much. If we do that, it's like we're at war with ourselves. Anger is the same thing, but you can control your anger or it will control you. It's not nature, so it's like they never forgive themselves. If you try to calm down instead, you can quickly extinguish those feelings. And if you practice it with time, you can even stop getting angry completely with some small incidents.

If you don't have a huge idea about controlling your emotions, if you want to become an expert in controlling your emotions, these few points are the best place to start. Those things apply to any confused feeling. Number 4; After understanding the three things mentioned before: we can learn ways to reduce anger. If you don't understand this, read it again. We are talking about equality anger. In addition to this, if you are always angry or are someone who causes problems due to unusually frequent anger, I suggest you to get the counseling service to reduce anger in addition to reading this article.

What is the real meaning of anger? Through knowing that feeling, the brain tries to give you the message that something is wrong, something is not right. I saw a nice facebook post saying “Don't get angry with events, don't go to fight. That the message from that incident should be understood." So simply controlling your anger means that you have a good understanding of your strong emotions. It means trying to put that understanding into practice and putting it into practice at the moment. Controlling anger does not mean that you will never get angry again after reading this article. Anger is an emotion. It can come anytime we don't think. But there are times when we think and get angry. Remember, feelings are like friends. They come and go to your house. Just think, good friends come to our houses but bad friends also come and go. But you will not appreciate all these friends coming to your house. But all of them equally have an important message to tell you. Try to listen to the message that such feelings are telling you. Let yourself feel every part of that feeling.

But don't judge those feelings or yourself when those feelings come. Oh, I'm not a good person, I had a thought like this. Being angry means I am not a good person. Don't judge yourself that way. Don't suddenly become that feeling without looking for it. For example, if you are angry, don't act angry. Because it's not you who is angry, it's your feelings. Don't react on them immediately. Calm down a bit and slowly ask those feelings what is the cause of this disturbance. Believe that there is an answer to this in the depths of your heart and mind. When you turn your back on your feelings, you turn your back on yourself. If you continue to do that, one day in your life you will find yourself in such a big trouble that you cannot ignore that one feeling. Don't get angry with the feelings and don't feel sorry for yourself why I feel such feelings. We can control our emotions but we have to learn it.

Why we don't like to get angry because that feeling is uncomfortable for us. Abhijit Naskar, the world-renowned neuroscientist and writer, says in one place, “I hate getting angry. "After I got angry, Pablo Escobar looked like a chocolate bar when he played with me," he says. Pablo Escobar is one of the world's worst drug dealers. Even his children know him as a very angry person. But as I mentioned before, this is not a feeling that gives negative results all the time. If you try, you can understand the message of that feeling. when it is done;

Number 1- Explore your emotions: Have you heard of the volcanoes of anger? Here is how it is formed. See what is inside the volcano or in the part covered by the volcano. Pain, fear, disappointment, shame, rejection, jealousy, guilt, frustration, and many other emotions provide fuel to activate this volcano of anger. Looking at this volcano of anger, there is something we need to understand. Anger is a secondary emotion. A feeling that comes as a result of another strong uncomfortable feeling. Somehow it emerges from the lava of a volcano and gives us a signal. That there is something wrong under the ground. It is the same with anger. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes it is a hard feeling to bear and it gives a great stress to the mind. As I said before, think about what are the important feelings that cause you to get angry. Think about the message your anger is trying to convey. Think about what are the good and bad things that have happened in your life these days. Then you will be able to understand the feelings buried in your subconscious mind as understanding and apply medicine to the places where you need to heal from the inside. Stop and think.

Number 2- Identify the danger signs: Our emotions can go from a very calm state of mind to rage in a heartbeat. It happens very quickly. Also, like the environment changes before the rain comes, before anger comes, the speed of breathing and heart rate increases and this process happens slowly. In both these situations, our body gives us these warning signals. Restlessness, nervousness, feeling like your face and neck are hot, sweating, and you start to tear up, and sometimes you feel like you're floating. When you start to feel any of these things, get out of that place before your anger increases and the volcano of anger explodes. You should stay away from that place physically and mentally for a while. Because then the things we say and do with less consciousness will decrease as much as possible. Worries are reduced. Go somewhere free and close your eyes. Then try to recall the details of a scene that calms your mind. For example, try to imagine the details of a scene like how the waves rise and break on the beach, the height of the mountains, the fog, the wind. If possible, drink some water and wash your face, then you will calm down a bit. You can do this whenever you feel angry. Yes, it is difficult to get used to it, but change it as a habit. Because you can then calm yourself physically and mentally when the volcano of anger is about to explode.

No. 3- You need to stop doing mental practice related to anger: What is this? If you have a long-term grudge with a certain person, take a good look and see if you practice the things you want to say in a nice order if you meet that person again. In short, if an opportunity arises, you make up what you want to say, build that story, add more parts to it and prepare what you want to say? It's a bit of an inspiring thing to do, but as soon as you catch a pattern like that, you have to stop doing it. Because the stress on your body and mind through that habit is the same as the stress you feel when you actually tell that person. It means that you are more affected by the anger than the person you are angry with. Let us explain it like this.

When you remember the relevant event or the relevant person in your mind, your heart rate increases due to the anger and impulse. Not only that, if you are a heart patient, what will be the effect on you? Think.. you can even lose your life from it. That's why I mentioned earlier that you are more affected by the anger than the person you are angry with. Also, in this concept of mental practice, you somehow get an opportunity to tell that person the story you are training. That's a little weird. But the problem is that we practice that story with a great impulse. But most of the time, the weight of the event that caused that impulse is actually less than the amount of this impulse that you are feeling now. Therefore, if you are upset because of a certain person, inform that person. Relax for a while. If possible, talk about the incident with a friend who has an independent opinion. Then communicate your feelings to the other person with ease and understanding.

Number 4- The most important thing to understand in order to control anger is the "Magic Point" that stops anger: When anger comes, we feel like confronting the incident that caused the anger and that person. So anger is very difficult to control. But after we collide with a person or event in that way, we have to do two things.

1: If we have to work again with the event or person that caused our anger, we have to create a good state of mind with him again from scratch. If we fight with him all at once, the process will be a bit difficult and we and he will be embarrassed again and again.

2: We regret our impulsive behavior after being angry for a long time. Both of these things are very difficult. That story says that getting angry with someone else is like getting drunk and waiting for someone else to die. So this story is very similar to that.

If you don't control your anger properly, you will have to spend a difficult time facing each other for about two weeks. So, if you are not going to be impulsive or if a person is trying to treat you impulsively, you will not be impulsive at that moment, avoid that person and when you get a chance, calmly communicate about the inconvenience caused to you by him or her. No matter how clearly we communicate, if they do not change their behavior in relation to us for the better, then what will we do? Avoid those people as much as possible. Avoid those people physically as well as in conversation. Then what is the Magic Point you should use to quench this anger?

That's the thing to remember when I get angry, I want to prevent impulsive behavior from me at this time, it's for my mental peace. If you don't manage that opportunity properly, you will have a hard time again. It becomes very difficult because you cannot do any work properly without calming your mind. There you lose valuable time to work for your success. If you avoid it, you can sleep peacefully that night. I want to prevent impulsive behavior from me at this time. If you often remind yourself that it is for my mental comfort, you can quickly avoid the habit of getting angry. In short, the Magic Point is that you control your anger for yourself.

Then what do you do after an emotional incident at work or with loved ones? No matter how much we talk about these things, sometimes we get involved in impulsive situations. So what to do, forgive that person as soon as possible. And apologize if you made a mistake. This life is not long enough to not forgive like that. That understanding and that action will help you recover quickly. So deal with the incident as soon as possible and get back to balance. Don't always wait for the other person to apologize to you. The earlier you do it, the more comfortable you will feel.

Number 5- When you get angry: look at the speed of your breathing: When you feel angry, the depth of your breathing decreases while it becomes faster. They are short, shallow breaths. You go further towards anger with this physical change. Turn it back. Try to take long and deep breaths. Through that, your body and mind will start coming into balance. Give the body a workout. Go for a walk. When our body gets some exercise, it reduces our anger. Ride a bike, walk or do something. If there is unfinished work at home, do it right. Sweep, wash dishes, clean the kitchen. Do anything that makes your limbs a little lighter. And stretch a little and the body will relax again.

Do not give the silent treatment to the person you are angry with even when it is not possible. A silent treatment means that we do not communicate with a person because of anger or some other feeling. Totally rejecting communication with it. Do you remember some time in some incident, it could be your lover in your life or it could be your parents, it could be your children, no matter how many calls you get, someone does not answer. No matter how many messages I send, they don't reply. No matter how much they talk, they don't talk. While some give silent treatments for a few hours like this, some give silent treatments for days and months. Believe me, there are some people who wait for years for the other person to change their behavior. This is an inhumane punishment that does not care if there is at least one other person. That's something you should never do.

The person who is subjected to the silent treatments, that is, the person who becomes the victim, is put under tremendous mental pressure. It is a death sentence. We will talk about it in another article. If you are reading this article and are often embarrassed by the anger of others, Red Eagle or William Weatherford is a writer who was years ago. He says angry people want to show how powerful they are. But dear, people want to show you how powerful you are. So I also want to show you how powerful you are. And there is another very sensitive matter that we need to acknowledge.

There are some people whose behavior suddenly changes and those who don't get angry at all suddenly start getting angry at some point in their life. why is that? When their cogs of patience run out, they use anger as a tool to minimize the damage to their feelings or to protect themselves. If you think that you are one of these people, we suggest that you get psychological counseling as soon as possible. It is very important. And we have already reminded you that whenever you feel angry, remember this story. Anything that starts with anger ends in shame.

Good Luck..!